Its amazing to me how fast the days go, and no... not just when your having fun. The days we live are great and such a blessed gift from God, but this gift is a short one. Each day we live seems to go by faster and faster, each day is different and holds numerous circumstances, but most importantly... each day is ours.
That introduction was probably a little more choppy than I would of liked, but its late and will have to do. The point I want to bring up is the tremendous need in our culture to start living each day as our last, “live like you were dying” (some country song lyrics). But the deep underlying topic I’ve been wanting to address is my grandma, and before I address her I wanted to mention her love of life. She lived everyday to its fullest. My dad likes to say she lived as if she would “dance in the rain.” Simply this means that even on the rainiest and darkest days, she found reason to dance and love life.
If I had to look back amongst the relatives I lost I could genuinely say I loved them. I could say I cared for them while they were alive. But could I really say that I longed for their presence, that their loss still brought tears to my eyes, that they truly touched my life down to my deepest core? I couldn’t say they did, I couldn’t believe most have done that besides two strong people in my life. Uncle Larry and Grandma. (now before people get all crazy, yes my other relatives mattered and affected me.... But the didn’t affect me in such a deep and attentive way as these two did) When I was growing up, the younger years, grandma wasn’t such an important role model and person to me as she was in my later teen years. It’d be safe to say that I wasn’t mature enough to truly appreciate what she would say and do for me. It was Grandma’s first death scare that I realized how important she was to me and how important I had become to her.
She was in the Mayo Clinic and we weren’t sure on her health yet at this time. Dad and I went to visit her and she was in the weakest state I had ever seen her, she couldn’t hardly even speak to us besides a light whisper. We were there for her and yet she insisted on praising us, she insisted that she showed her love through words to us. I remember the image in my head vividly... Dark room, after visitation hours... Aunt mary gail on the right side of the bed... Dad massaging grandma’s very swollen feet... And me a 16-17 year old teenager on the left. Grandma started to tell me how much she loved me, how she noticed who I was and what I would become. She knew more about my future than I could have ever imagined for even myself. She told me how she thought I was such a gentleman and how I had so many friends due to the encouragement I was able to give others. But most importantly to me, she told me she knew without a doubt in her mind that I was going to become a great prosperous man (prosperous is not confined to financial wealth despite popular belief). She told me I would go far in life, I would accomplish my dreams and aspirations, I would live life like my father has. She also told me that I was her favorite grandson.... Now hold on I don’t want this to be taken as in picking favorites. But I believe she said this because of our mutual love for the human communication and relationships we are capable of. We never talked about it while she was alive. But the only way she could have said what she did, and known what she did, is if she cared enough to learn about that as I have. And its for that reason I believe she said that about me, because I was like her in a lot of ways.
The next part about grandma I want to share is the letter she gave me upon learning that I would be attending Bethel university. Below is the letter in italics and underlined.
Feb 2, 2008
Heavenly Father, this is a very special day for my grandson, Joshua Flom. He will take a new path in his young life that means so much to us, his family. We feel with our prayer and guide lines we can be of some help.
Joshua knows his Lord, and has a strong foundation. I pray he will choose great friends, and to make friends, you must be one. Be a good listener and avoid all temptations. Feel good about yourself, feel needed, be helpful. When awake in the morning, know that God is at your side. Ask for guidance for the day and He will be there.
It is frustrating and even scary to leave the cozy nest of home where you had all the love and protection most students have, but this is the way of life (your nest will always be there).
This will be a great year for you. Keep healthy, work hard, and progress and happiness will return. I will enjoy watching you advance to a fine young man in this busy world.
Josh! You are so blessed with loving, devoted parents who want the best for you. They will always be there. Your special brothers and great sister are so proud of you.
To some it may seem like a simplistic letter, to some it may not even seem special. To me... it is the last letter I received from my grandma and also the most important. You see, to me this letter tells me that I am capable of greatness in my life. It tells me that others are proud of the life I have lived and are there to carry me through any challenges. This is tremendous for me to hear! In my life I have been great at speaking wisdom into others through advice or something. But rarely have I been capable of taking my advice and applying it to my own life. Grandma helped me change that. To this day, even after her death, she continues to help me grow. Odd right? Her memory and life example has come to teach me vast amounts of wisdom, and I’ll continue to learn as I continue to remember and honor her memory.
So tonight I praise the Lord for the best grandma of a lifetime, the best grandma I could have ever imagined. I praise her memory and the example she has left for me and those who knew her.
Go out and live life to the fullest not only for yourself, but for my grandma who has eternally touched my life.
Go out and dance in the rain.
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