Speech to Justin & Jocelynn Flom

Take a moment to look back upon your childhood, the awkward teenage years, college memories, and life in general. Who was it that was there with you through the moments that meant the most to you? Who did you have a reputation of getting into trouble with, but never actually got caught breaking the rules. Who was one of your role models to how a man is supposed to act through his younger years?

For me it was always my brother, for me it was Justin that stuck with me through the good, the bad, the funny, the dangerous, the moments we call memories.

I’ve seen Justin go through his life as a very close brother, I know about the greatest moments as while as the darkest… and despite the challenges presented to him; I’ve seen him prosper, I’ve seen him grow in self and the Lord.

When I met Jocelynn it was clear from the beginning that she was a spectacular girl. It was evident through her personality and zealous attitude for life, that she’d be one of the few people in this world capable of keeping up to Justin’s “hit the ground running” lifestyle.

There was one day specifically I knew that Justin loved her, one day that I knew he planned to be there for her entire life. I asked him if all the mistakes of his past, all the pain from life (whether relationships, family, or just struggles) was worth going through in the end. Now I don’t have the exact response but roughly he said: “of course it was worth it, if hadn’t gone through what I had I wouldn’t of matured enough to have her, I wouldn’t be the man I needed to be to make Jocelynn happy… the mistakes I made in my past I learned from, and I didn’t have to make them with Jocelynn.” It was this statement that helped me realize that the rough points in our lives had a purpose in God’s ultimate plan, and it was this statement that made me trust that Justin was ready for the next step in life… marriage.

Justin… Jocelynn… I look forward to seeing an amazing life unfold for the both of you. Jocelynn with your love for Justin and enthusiasm for life I know that you will be able to move through a tremendous life with Justin. And Justin with your love for Jocelynn I know that you will show her the world, literally… and also a love others can only dream of.

God bless both of you and your marriage.

Friends and the power of growth we experience through them

One of the greatest gifts I have received through my life is not financial stability, health, knowledge, etc. My friend once brought to light the things that matter most to me. Stefan, my old room mate told me God’s gift of wisdom for me, how I had wisdom and insight into my life and into others. By him explaining this he told me the importance of my friendship. You see two years ago we we’re strangers, I tried to live elsewhere but was placed by God into him dorm building. Through the months Stefan Walker and Josh Bernards became the two best guy friends I had ever had. Its these two men that act as the iron in my life; because as iron sharpens iron, so one

man sharpens another. There is no simplistic way to explain the love of a friend, just as there is no simple way to explain the meaning of these two guys in my life.

Words are given to us by the Lord so that we can paint an elegant image, so that we can help the human imagination to piece together a master piece. I want to try and explain the

unexplainable, to illustrate the importance of a few guys in my life that led to a great growth in my maturity, wisdom, love, and general knowledge.

Stefan Walker and Josh Bernards are nothing alike... throw me in the mix and you have three friends that became brothers, three friends that became in separable, three friends that became some of each others best friends.

Whether it was late nights listening to music, talking through our computers voices, or putting post its all over the walls... stefan was one of my best friends in a heartbeat. which is saying a lot considering i haven't had a guy best friend that was good for me..... ever! Josh and I would game at all hours of the night, share a love for music, love getting to go out and eat, and my favorite was our joy for the simple things in life (being able to go for a walk, glance at the stars, etc.). Now its worth nothing that although the three of us are different, we all ended up loving the same things and rarely was it ju

st two of us together, it was always the three of us. Its truly impossible to list the memories of all of the great times, and especially impossible to say which of these great godly men are my favorite.

If i look upon my fathers life, i see exactly what i hope and will strive for. a life long friendship with the men in his life that are important, the men in his life that help him grow, the men in his life that act as his giants (if i see far its because i stand on the shoulders of giants). There are many people i can think of that i want to stay in my life, men and women alike. Stefan and Josh are at the top of this list. they are the rare friends a person only dreams of, the kind of friend people hope for but may never find.

My goal in life is to accomplish the works of the Lord, to bring happiness to my friends and family, and to bring a sense of success to myself. i know with complete certainty that i wont be able to achieve any of these things without God as my driver, and these two men as my navigators. It's with this realizations that i must be careful of my actions, i must be thoughtful to the thoughts of them and of myself. i expect great things of myself, and i expect wondrous things from Stefan and Josh... I'm hoping i can see these astonishing lives unfold over the years.

Lay your head down so that you may dream...

People sleep to dream of what life could be.  i sleep to rest myself so that i may wake and live my dream.  The sky is not my limit... my limit will be the heavens.

Think of our culture for a moment and how it seems to address the issue of a person's dreams...

you'll quickly realize (at least i think) that we have two primarily dominate tendencies (a third we'll address later).  First is our media's view, movies.  these show us how are dreams will come true, how the good guy always wins and potentially that life is really a fairy tale.  our second view is of the general public, negative.  that life is not a fairy tale and its filled with pain, sorrow, and ultimately that dreams do not or rarely come true.  These views seem to really be at an extremely, which makes me wonder why we cannot find a mutual understand between the two of them... which brings in our third concept.

I believe the third would be the small amount of people that believe our dreams can most certainly come true if we are willing to pursue them with our whole self (and God) while also realizing that there will be pain and suffering as we move towards our goals.  So take those other two ideas and combine them.  take the understanding from movies that dreams are capable of being achieved... take the realization that pain and ultimately failure will happen occasionally but are not to be the end result of things.  together i personally believe we meet a point of of dreams and aspirations...  that co-exists with our pain of life and occasional mistakes (or failures) that allow us to have lessons and learn to achieve our goal correctly.

When you believe you want something, go after it and take control of the dream you have inside of yourself.  you can accomplish great and amazing things when you set forth with the intention of finishing it.  there will be trials, and only the tough will surpass them.  there will be blessings, and only the deserving will earn them.  

Dream... dream of the greatness you deserve...

Wake... Wake up to the realization that you can achieve the dream...

Sleep... Sleep well knowing that you've lived your live to the fullest and achieved what others have only thought of doing.

Not doing what is right, while also not doing something wrong... results in a wrong.

interesting title...  i'll explain what i mean

if your in a situation presented with a wrong and a right...  but you are to timid, to passive, to make the right choice (but you also don't choose a wrong action, simple neutral or nothing) you are really being passive.  you are being like adam in the garden of eden, when he was passive while eve ate the apple.  passivity is wrong, doing nothing is most certainly doing something.

the point i'm trying to get across is simple, step up and do what is right.  this is so that you are not passive but also because you are not alone.  "don't ever be scared to do the right thing; more often then you know others are thinking the same thing, just need someone to make that first step." (Josh Flom)  stepping up and rejecting passivity, or rejecting a wrong action, takes great bravery when with your friends or even strangers.

a bravery many of us lack on a regular basis, even if we don't like to admit it....

spoiled with earthly wealth... or blessed with heavenly gifts?

As we go through life we must keep ourselves up to the standards set by our God the Father...  but as we continue through life you quickly learn that our culture has another set of standards, that our culture has another idea for your life.  Culture is our hidden and disgraceful leader... It creates definitions to our words,  actions, and lifestyles.  Time and time again we allow ourselves to be affected by "their" way of life, have we no self respect?

the aspect of culture and its definitions i feel the need to bring to light is simply its definition of being spoiled....  and you'll learn it will never be called being blessed.

--A man gets a promotion allowing him some spare cash, so he treats his family to a vacation (or gifts, dinners, etc) suddenly these young kids or the family is spoiled?  why would we not call them blessed by God?

These can be a thousand different ways to recognize the differences and similarities between spoiled and blessed situations.  but the aspect i'm looking for is that people start recognizing the positive more than the negative, that we start acknowledging that God is powerful and loving (but still has wrath mind you), that sometimes we need to remember that we wont all receive the same blessings as our friends and family (the world is different for everyone).

I live to experience pain... so that I may understand Joy

"We live, we learn; we hurt, and we love. Welcome challenges and welcome pain, without them we cannot learn and cannot truly understand love"

Being one who loves communication, loves relationships, basically loves every aspect of we as a people who "feel," i have come to have a vast amount of deep conversations with close friends (and strangers).  a great majority of these people have told me that they will never look for a significant other again, never take risks again, never try....  all to avoid the pain that the brutal world brings.  i say why?

I realize that pain is excruciating and unbearable, but would you truly be thankful for the happiness you experience if you hadn't first known what hurt was like.  i'll be the first to say that heart ache is one of the worst things in life we can go through, but it brings a bitter sweet gift.  it brings us something to contrast happiness with, it brings us lessons to learn what we really long for and need in a person (or life)

to make this short lets put it this way....  the hardships we experience bring greatness to our lives if we allow them.  they bring happiness after we have learned and valued these lessons.

time to run some errands....  post again soon

mirrors and realizations

"Ever love who you are until you look into the mirror.  Only to realize the person staring back is a stranger, an outsider to our definition of self-identity."

Time and time again I move through my daily life, acting out the typical motions are actions.  We all, including myself, become accustomed to who we are and who we have become.  We think out dreams, aspirations, ideas, and concepts that will make us who we want to be (who we should be).  But by the time we lay our heads down to rest we fail to change the most crucial part of our worlds; ourselves.

Personal

I know who i am and i know who i've become, but that doesn't mean i am who i want to be.  I hear the words of friends (and strangers) praising me for my personality, thoughts, quotes, actions, etc (the list continues), but that doesn't mean i am who i should be.  what i mean is there are aspects of my life that i see in the mirror, and it brings heart ache to my self; my soul.  I fail to bring happiness to myself in relationships, i fail to praise God in the way i know i am fully capable of, i fail to please my father in the ways of career or self improvement, etc.

Am i happy with myself?  well of course.  do i cherish the comments and statements of others, yes... do i believe they are true, usually i do yes (otherwise why would they say them)... do i believe there is a side to me that others would be ashamed of, yes.

i believe that people would be ashamed of the way i approach my relationships of romantic interest.  people have said continuously how amazing of a boyfriend i would be, and i would be a great one.  but...  i purposely ruin relationships before the progress, i keep them physical, i distance myself.  i ruin them so they don't become serious, which could result in my emotional pain because of it failing.  i keep them physical to abstain from any emotional connection.  i distance myself to avoid failure.  and i believe i can attribute most of these problems to when i cheated on my first love (i think love).  it killed me that i would sacrifice the worlds greatest gift, emotional love... for simplistic physical gratification.  

i know that my father loves me more then words are even capable of illustrating... so dont take my words as a misunderstanding of his love.  but i know that he wants... expects... greatness from me.  he built an empire of insurance sales, he made his name in the record books for his company... he wants me to step out of this mountain size shadow and make a bigger one.  at least that is what it seems, it seems he see's a greatness in me that i have yet to grasp.  sometimes i wish he'd keep this magnificent idea for me alive, but still understand that i'm a lost college student in need of more hands on teaching.

its intense that there is so much in life that i don't understand.  but i know that in time i'll figure it out.